LYRICS

I feel you every time I feel the rain.
You were like the stars in the sky,
and you wanted to feel my pain.
I feel you on odd December days
walking through the fir trees and lights,
the damning sun splashed on my face.

When you looked inside my head
what visions did you find.
Put my mirrors face-to-face,
and found a little girl who’s lost inside. When you burrowed in my soul
what did the demons say?
Though I’m free
from the shadow of cold
I want another winter’s day.

I was just a child you see
when I stepped on that train.
Spied to catch your destination
and coyly looked away.
Thinking only of you
in the pink haze with a smile.
The giant who taught me of love
and who I let pass me by.

When you looked inside my head
what visions did you see.
Put my mirrors face-to-face,
and found a little girl who’s lost me.
When you burrowed in my soul
what did the demons say?
Though I’m free
from the shadow of cold
I want another winter’s day.

When confusion made me cry
you held me close.
When I said to him goodbye
you mourned with me.
When you shivered to my door
in stocking feet burned by the cold.
I saw in you a heart that baffled me.
I felt with you a love that consumed me.
I thought you were a fate that eluded me.
I couldn’t understand why you loved me.

Now as I walk the mile
on this warm winter’s day.
Laughing at how new it was
when I walked the walk that way.
I couldn’t feel the loss
when you said those words to me.
“It hurts like fire to leave you,
but for you I’ll let you be”

STORY BEHIND THE SONG:

When I was 18, I came to NYC. I had a boyfriend from home, and in spite of that, I fell madly in love with a guy I met on a train from DC to NY. I'll never forget him. I probably wouldn't have hoped to find someone to love me completely and treat me well were it not for the memory of him. I might have stayed in the all too familiar cycle of self hatred that plagues way too many people these days.

But back then, it was amazing, painful, tumultuous and incredible. We weren't together that long, but the whole thing left a HUGE impression.

Anyway, as years past, I found myself forgetting things about him and the time we spent together. Honestly, If he passed me in the street today, I probably wouldn't recognize him (aside from the fact that he's unbelievably tall). So I wanted to write a song about a great day we spent together. A freakishly warm 80-degree day in mid-December, too many years ago to mention. A day hopefully I'll never forget. I still do a double-take every time I see someone whose head is above the crowd and wonder...