LYRICS

That warm Mission sun
haunts my heart these days.
Feeling so low,
my guitar, the wind and the Haight.
The sun shines, I feel cold,
the kind of cold that makes
your cells shake.
I hate to say I need anyone,
but I needed you.

First I cried, then I gagged
and I moaned at the thought of her.
I was hole-up in that dark prison room
with the butts piled high.
That pussy look of pity
is the best that you can do
when it’s down to me and you.
I sat alone on the battlefield
that was your bed

How can I play the fool
for you again after all this time.
You got back at her by doing me,
got back at me for hurting you.
And to think I allowed you
to crawl up slowly to my side,
now it stings me to know
that you warped my pride
and I wish that you were dead to me

I’m always thinkin’ ‘bout yesterdays
but nostalgia leaves you cold.
The good times and the bad times,
could you handle being next to me
this time just to feel good?
I didn’t want that, not the past again,
just a hand to hold when I cried
and that smile I knew of old

How can I play the fool
for you again after all this time.
You got back at her by doing me,
got back at me for hurting you.
And to think I though I had
to hold it all inside
and I can’t breathe, and I’m drowning
and I want to hide
and I wish that you were dead to me.
I wish you were dead to me

I always say I’ll be okay,
but my mind’s a sight to see.
3000 miles to get laid
was the greeting that you gave to me.
I don’t think so, was that you or me,
like a lab rat in a cage.
I was muffled, tired, silent,
ashamed & in a rage

How can I play the fool
for you again after all this time.
You got back at her by doing me,
got back at me for hurting you.
And to think I allowed you
to crawl up slowly to my side.
I can’t believe I let you let me
drown the hurt inside
and I wish that you were dead to me
...now you are dead to me.

STORY BEHIND THE SONG:

This song is the aftermath of "Beekman Place" Can't get into too much detail as there really are no guilty parties. I'd asked for it years before. Maybe, 20 years from now, all the torrid details will come out in a "Behind the Music". But the situation was none the less ugly, kinda scarring, and probably the best thing that ever happened to me, because I probably wouldn't be writing music today if it wasn't for that pain. So thanks to the ex!

But needless to say, I'm a BIG proponent of everyone having their cards on the table. As my fave boys say "No alarms and no surprises please!"